


HiveMENT Stuff

by ikeboo518



Category: Astral Chain (Video Game), Code MENT, God knows what else I'll add, Hiveswap, Parahumans Series - Wildbow, Steven Universe (Cartoon), 牙狼〈GARO〉-VANISHING LINE- | Garo: Vanishing Line (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Code Ment - Freeform, Crack, Crack Crossover, Embedded Images, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms References, Insanity in fic form, Multiple Crossovers, Screenplay/Script Format, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, but it's with my characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2020-10-28 19:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 8,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20783546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeboo518/pseuds/ikeboo518
Summary: Just things I wrote out of boredom that just so happen to share a universe. Blame my lack of focus.





	1. Ian's dad is dead (and Feferi is blind and crippled, which isn't medically possible).

Ian: Mom! MOM! Dad’s been shot!

HIC: *SNORES* I WAS TOTALLY NOT SLEEPING JUST NOW!

Ian: Dad is dead!

HIC: How dead?

Ian: Dead enough to cause Feferi to go blind.

HIC: That’s pretty dead.

Ian: I’ll say. It kinda seems medically impossible.

HIC: Oh no, I’ve looked this thing up. People die from getting shot all the time.

Ian: What?! No- No, I meant the blindness.

*Awkward silence*

Ian: Ya know what, forget it.

HIC: Done and Done. Unfortunately, the economy isn’t doing so hot right now, so I can’t afford to hire you a new Dad.

Ian: I don’t think that’s how it works.

HIC: Well I got to do something. Child Services is going to kill me if I lose another kid. Why don’t you go stay with that cousin of yours? You two seem to get along well.

Ian: She and Jake lit our slip-n-slide on fire.

HIC: I said well, not great.

Ian: WHILE I WAS ON IT!

Jane’s House, Backyard

Ian, carrying Feferi piggyback: What’s with all the dead people?

Jane: Oh, they’re not dead. They just tried to sneak in and got hit with tranq darts.

Jake: Hey, Ian. Ya know what would suck? Getting cut off mid-sentence!

Ian: What on Earth C are you talking about? And where did that even come fro-

OPENING: COLORS by Flow


	2. Caliburn can't hold his guns right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, now, Steven Universe/Astral Chain stuff. For context, Caliburn and Ax are both guys and can shapeshift at will.  
Caliburn is a Sword Legion  
Ax is (obviously) an Axe Legion

Caliburn, going through the Astral Plane: Hey. Where are you right now?

Ax: Eh, I’m just on the outskirts of town. It looks pretty scary over here. I’m just going to take selfies of myself looking lost and confused and then say I couldn’t find anything.

Caliburn: What else would selfies be of?

Ax: What?

Caliburn: Nevermind. I will hand it to you though. Your plan doesn’t sound too bad. Egypt’s in the middle east, right?

Ax: No, it’s just outside.

Caliburn: They got sand though, right?

Ax: Uh… Yeah…?

Caliburn: Then I’ll just take a bunch of selfies around there.

Ax: Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you. How’re you getting such good reception on a plane? Do you have some kind of crazy international plan?

Caliburn: Nah, I’m riding on a Beast Legion through the Astral Plane.

Ax: That is incredibly stupid.

Caliburn: Yup.

???: Pst!

Ax: What the hell was that?

???: PST!

Ax: Hello?!

Caliburn: What’s going on over there?

Kuro Pearl, seductively: You wanna see something cool?

Ax: Hm… Okay!

Caliburn: Hello...?! ...Asshole.

**Now Arriving in Egypt**

Caliburn: Ah, Egypt! Home of the…. Um... Sand…

Caliburn, still riding his Beast Legion: Now where to take this bitch…

Random Chimera:  **I sense a presence approaching...!**

Caliburn: What the hell?!

Random Chimera:  **WHO ARE YOU?**

Caliburn: It is I…! Me!

Random Chimera:  **What?**

Caliburn: What?

Random Chimera:  **Um. WAIT! I recognize you! You are the Legion servant of Pink Diamond!**

Random Chimera, holding a pair of Pearls matching Caliburn’s colors:  **Once I am finished with these two, ** **  
** Caliburn: Uh oh. **  
** Random Chimera:  **You shall join me.**

Caliburn: Oh I get what’s going on here. No thanks buddy, I’m not into [REDACTED] culture. I feel like it’s too forced.   
Random Chimera:  **WHAT?!**

Caliburn: What?

Steel Pearl: Hey, want to see something cool?!

Caliburn: Hrm… Okay!

*Both Pearls turn into Guns*

Caliburn: Sweet!

Random Chimera:  **You’re holding them wrong.**

Caliburn: What?

Random Chimera:  **You’re holding them wrong!**

Caliburn: What are you talking about?

Random Chimera:  **The Guns! You’re holding the guns wrong!**

Caliburn: What?! No, I’m not!

Random Chimera:  **They’re upside down.**

Caliburn: They came this way!

Random Chimera:  **OK, so flip them over!**

Caliburn: No! That’s not right!

Random Chimera:  **YES IT IS!**

Caliburn: You’re, like, 9,000 years old! Guns are before your time! Let me handle this, okay?!


	3. Caliburn gets a call (Now with added cameos from other characters I will introduce whenever)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caliburn is the only sane person

Random Chimera: YOU COME IN HERE, YOU THREATEN ME, YOU WASTE MY TIME, AND NOW, I WILL EAT YOUR CORE!   
Caliburn: Ride a bike ya 9,000-year-old dickhandler! I’m taking this.   
MS: Alright!  
Caliburn: FUCK!  
(The random chimera rambles about Caliburn being on his phone in the background)  
MS: We’re having a party and you’re invited.  
Ian, in the background: What about the plastic explosives? No wait, I’ll do it. SENDING SOME ASSHOLES YOUR WAY! TO THE ASTRAL PLANE!  
Caliburn: IAN I WILL END YOU!  
Ian: GO AHEAD! TRY AND STOP ME! I’m crazy!  
Caliburn: IAN!  
Ian: TRANSMISSION OVER! AAAAA- *Ian headbutts the camera*  
Caliburn: Well, shit. Listen, I gotta go, so why don’t we just wrap this up here and be done with it?  
Random Chimera: Why were you even here in the first place!?  
Caliburn: I’m just here to take a selfie of me looking for My Diamond’s Technology.  
Random Chimera: You know about the ancient Gem tech?  
Caliburn: Uh…  
Random Chimera: How much do you know?!  
Caliburn: How much do you know?  
Random Chimera: Have we been compromised again?! Did the Diamond’s send you?!  
Caliburn: Wait...! It’s you! You’re the one I’m supposed to be looking for!  
Random Chimera: What’s going on-  
Caliburn: Enough talk! Let’s do this!  
After Caliburn kills The Random Chimera  
Caliburn: I’m actually going to have to stop at the patent office on my way there! BECAUSE I’M GOING TO INVENT A WHOLE NEW KIND OF PAIN FOR YOU IAN!  
Caliburn arrives at the party  
Caliburn: Where are they?!  
Guren: Since I can only assume you mean one of our shared associates, I just tell you the Knights of Two, Three, and Four are upstairs.  
Caliburn: Does it look like I give a FUCK where the Knights are?!  
Guren: In that case, they are downstairs.  
Caliburn: Thank you very much.  
Guren: Oh, and Caliburn?  
Caliburn: Hm?  
Guren: Aim for his forehead.


	4. Ian and the Clown Church vs Rainbow Drinkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Ian is Alexander Anderson.

Feferi: [Continues driving while avoiding tank fire] YOU'VE! GOT! TO! BE! SHIT! -TING! ME!  
[Car crashes into a wall]  
Hans: [jumps onto the car] Whooo! [gets head sliced off by Feferi]  
Rainbow Drinker: Hans?! No! And he was having such a good day! He even got to burn down London Bridge! Sing the song. Everything!  
Feferi: Congratulations. [Pulls out a cigarette and stomps on the head] It took an entire squadron of inhuman, nigh-immortal, fake Rainbow Drinkers to hunt down and corner a 22-year old woman.  
Rainbow Drinker: That's a woman?  
Other Rainbow Drinker: She's 22?  
Feferi: [blows smoke] I hope it's everything you dreamed of. So how about it then? [Pulls out sword] Come and get the first real fight you've had in 50 years, you dickless cowards!  
Rainbow Drinker: I'LL STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING FA- [stabbed by a dozen bayonets and then explodes]  
[Bible pages fall to the ground and Ian appears]  
Rainbow Drinker: God's Assassin...  
Another Rainbow Drinker: Saint Guillotine...  
Third Rainbow Drinker: The Angel's Dust...  
Fourth Rainbow Drinker: Judas Priest...  
Fifth Rainbow Drinker: Wait, like the band?  
Sixth Rainbow Drinker: They were named after him!  
Ian: By Jove, you fucking header of a woman! Surrounded by fifty Rainbow Drinkers armed literally to the teeth, and what do you do!? You get out of your fucking car, pull out your sword, cut off one of their heads and yell, "come at me, you kraut shits!" No wonder Alucard wants to plow that virgin soil. I was thinking about growing some flowers myself if I wasn’t already taken! Hahahaha!  
Feferi: Ian Saejima. To what do I owe the unexpected pleasure?  
Ian: Ah, you know, just out and about with my posse.  
Feferi: Posse?  
[Ian points up, seeing countless Iscariot agents on the roof above]  
Ian: And look! Y'know how your pet vampire has got his own pet vampire? Well, that got me thinking, so I acquired some learned youngsters myself! Two of 'em! Which is twice as good! And here's the real kicker, one's Japanese, and the other one's fuckin' German! Ain't that topical?! I just need an Italian one and I've got me an Axis of Righteousness. Tegiri! Say something in moonspeak!  
Tegiri: Hai.  
Ian: Ha, ha! And the German one, Chahut, She cleaves things. it's great.  
Chahut: Pop-Pop, watchin' heathens drop.  
Rainbow Drinker: The Iscariots? We're not scared of you! Look at you, you don't even know how to use a bayonet! It goes on the gun, idiot!  
Ian: Now, if you'll excuse us, you English cow, it's time for the Iscariots to do your job for ya, and put these soulless bodies where they belong... In the ground, in case you didn't take--  
[A Rainbow Drinker rushes towards Ian, but is swiftly cut down and killed]  
Ian, covered in purple blood: ...In case you didn't take me meaning.  
Lead Rainbow Drinker: KILL THEM!  
[Dropkick Murphys "Shipping up to Boston" begins to play]  
Ian: Who are we?  
[Ian draws a pair of bayonets from his belt]  
Paladins of Iscariot: The necessary evil!  
Ian: Why are we necessary?  
Paladins: To purge the world of evil worse than man!  
Ian: And why are we God's chosen few, ordained to undertake this unholy task?  
[Chahut spins her ax around in a circle, while Tegiri draws his blade. Ian forms a cross with his bayonets, his scarf fluttering in the wind]  
Paladins: Because no-one else will!  
Ian, charging into battle with an insane glint in his eyes: And because it's fuckin fun! AHAHA! AHAHAHA! AHAH-AAAAAAAA-MEN!


	5. SAEJIMA (Alt. Future Ian) vs Tegiri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now we have a new version of Ian running around. Also, Polypa and Ian are a thing.

SAEJIMA: Ya know, the irony here, is that if my life were right now in danger, you’d still want to save me. Because you’re stupid!   
Ian: I hate you.   
SAEJIMA: Guess we are alike. That’s just what I was thinking.   
[Saejima slashes Ian in the back]   
Ian: Tactical Retreat...   
[Ian falls forward from being slashed in the back]   
Polypa: Ian?! Ian! I found you!   
Ian: Hey Polypa…    
Polypa: I got you.   
[Ian collapses into Polypa’s arms]   
Tegiri: You know that I could have killed you right there. You know that, right?   
Polypa: I know.   
Tegiri: Good. I just wanted to hear you say it. Go on ahead, swordsister. If anyone asks…   
Polypa: I’ll tell them of the samurai who guards this area.   
Tegiri: I think I may be falling for you.   
Ian, slurredly: Everyone does.   
SAEJIMA: Polypa. Tegiri. DIE!   
[SAEJIMA jumps toward Polypa and Ian, only for Tegiri to block his strike]   
SAEJIMA: Really?! Even you?! Why?! What do you have to gain here? What could you possibly want with him?   
Tegiri: He is of value to Polypa, and as such of value to me. Also, you lied to me you jerk.   
SAEJIMA: What’s his name, Tegiri?! Tell me his name!   
Polypa, whispering: It’s Ian.   
Tegiri: It is Ian.   
[SAEJIMA sputters for a few seconds, before yelling and charging at Tegiri wielding 2 daggers. They clash numerous times, only for Tegiri to dodge every blow]   
Polypa: You got this Tegiri?   
Tegiri: Of course Polypa! His swordsmanship is lacking.   
SAEJIMA: SHUT UP!


	6. Ian and Saejima talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter will be reference pics for Ian, SAEJIMA, and (potentially) Caliburn. This chapter is set before the previous one.

[The sound of snapping fingers fills the road Ian is walking down]   
Ian: OK That’s enough!   
[One last snap echoes as SAEJIMA’s voice reverbs from nowhere]   
SAEJIMA, appearing in a puff of blue flames: Whatever could you be talking about?   
Ian, annoyed: You’ve been snapping your fingers in my ears for over an hour!   
SAEJIMA, sarcastically: Oh goodness, I’m so sorry. Did I hurt the little prince’s feelings?   
Ian: See if you like your… [Ian’s speech devolves into incoherent grumbling]   
SAEJIMA: You might want to watch that arm. If your siblings see you like that, they’ll be worried. OH WAIT, HOLD ON! Ian Saejima doesn’t have to worry about siblings or parents… does he?   
Ian: [Gasp] How did you-?!   
SAEJIMA: How many have you been through now? 11 total? You never did get a “dad” in that last set.   
Ian, absolutely enraged: I’VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU! You think you know me?! How about this: I didn’t just lose my siblings! I had to deal with being the sole survivor of 24 people, all of whom were my siblings! Do you have any idea what that’s like?!   
SAEJIMA, unamused and possibly having PTSD flashbacks: Keep going. No, really. Tell the guy ripped from his timeline to serve a teenager he hates how tragic *your* life is. Speak up though. It’s hard to hear over this universe trying to erase my existence on a constant basis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context:  
Ian=  
Ian has been cared for over most of his life by the current heir/heiress, lacking a lusus as a result.  
Ian (being a synthetic half-troll) had 23 other, non-troll siblings. Ian was the youngest. They were considered "failures" due to all of them lacking fuchsia blood. There were 2 trolls for every blood color, with the 2nd fuchsia being the oldest. They also died due to mistreatment.  
SAEJIMA=  
"This universe trying to erase my existence on a constant basis." = Similar to the AU Spiders from Into the Spider-Verse, SAEJIMA is dying due to his innate incompatibility with the universe this takes place in


	7. Alter vs Ian (aka 3 Ians so far. I wonder when the 4th one's gonna show up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And make that another Ian added to the list. Also, this chapter is set much later down the timeline than the last two.

Alter, from offscreen: Well. Well. Well. If it isn’t the new Saber. How’s Caledfwlch holding up?  
Ian: We both know the answer to that. Now are you going to duel me or what?  
[Alter appears in a puff of white and green flames, his mask gone]  
Alter, smiling: Straight to the point as always. [Alter draws Arondight as the green lines of the blade glow] Anything you’d like to say first?  
Ian: Yeah. [Ian draws Caledfwlch, the lines on his being fuchsia] If you get to whatever afterlife awaits you, say hi to SAEJIMA for me, yeah?  
[Insert Song: Garo: Vanishing Line OST: “Last Battle”]  
Alter, his smile faltering slightly: Definitely. You’d do the same, right? Now then. Let’s begin.  
[Ian rushes towards Alter with a yell, swinging Caledfwlch downwards. Alter parries his blow, attempting to counter with Arondight. Ian dodges out of the way of the attack, doing a sweep kick. Alter jumps up, avoiding it. He lands, panting.]  
Alter: I didn’t expect you to be so skilled. I’m quite impressed! But playtimes over.  
[Arondight begins to glow as Alter begins to chant]  
Alter: A blade forged to rival Caledfwlch. A blade wielded by an eternal rival. A blade to kill a king! Finisher! Arondight’s Call!  
[Arondight’s metal blade shatters, revealing a crackling green blade of energy. Alter raises it into the air as the blade grows before swinging it down with a yell. Ian begins his chant.]  
Ian: A blade forged by creatures beyond human. A blade wielded by a king who rests as the end draws near. A blade to kill a traitor! Finisher! Caledfwlch Avalon!  
[Caledfwlch transforms similar to that of Arondight a few moments prior. Ian swings Caledfwlch in a semi-circle, as Arondight falls towards him. As Arondight is about to reach him, he deflects it, before lunging forward and striking Alter in the chest.]  
[End OST]  
Alter, a smile on his face: Hehe. Nice hit. I guess now we know who the best Ian is, huh? {Alter falls back, hitting a wall] I guess It’s finally my time. I’ll make sure to do that request of yours.  
[Alter begins to fade into small motes of green light as he speaks]  
Alter: I’ll be waiting, got it? See…Ya…  
[Alter fades completely as he closes his eyes. Ian sighs to himself as Caledfwlch reforms.]  
Ian: Goodbye… Ian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some context for Alter:  
Yet another alternate Ian who, at the age of 13, got corrupted into a Grimdark-like state. While Ian wields Caledfwlch (Yes, it looks like HS Canon Caledfwlch but with Tron lines and shit), Alter wields Arondight (A sword wielded by Lancelot in some stories. It looks like a black version of Caledfwlch with green Tron lines). Also, Alter wore a mask that is just a color inverted Saber Alter mask.


	8. The chapter where the author just shares reference images

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk man. It's just reference images

  
Ian's sprite  
  
SAEJIMA's Sprite  
  
  
Alter's Sprite  


Caledfwlch (Image is taken from Wiki)  


Arondight (Yes, I just edited Caledfwlch, but in-universe, they're identical.) 


	9. HiveMENT: Vanishing Line Intro (AKA the Garo AU no one asked for, but are getting anyways)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Partie Zéro: Une introduction (Part Zero: An introduction)  
Part of an AU that may evolve if I like it enough.

[We open in an empty black void. A skull-like ring appears in the darkness, before speaking]  
  
???: Hello there. I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before. Are you lost? You must be, given the fact you’ve ended up here. Ah, but where are my manners? My name is Zaruba. I serve as the partner to those who bear the title of Garo, The Golden Knight.  
Zaruba: In another time and place, the one you know as Ian Saejima bears this title. Shall we take a peek?  
[Zaruba slowly fades away as the background changes to white. Strange characters fill the screen before they scatter and reveal Ian standing in the middle of a street, now wearing a white duster over a black outfit. In his hand is a large greatsword.]  
Ian: [Ian sighs before looking at his hand] God… That took way too long… Right, Zaruba?  
[The camera pans down to reveal Zaruba, now on Ian’s left index finger]  
Zaruba: Say what you will, I’m more impressed you managed to seal that gate without your armor.  
[Ian groans, annoyed]  
Ian: Yeah, Yeah… Still was a pain in the ass though.  
[Zaruba chuckles, before making a noise of confusion]  
Zaruba: What the…?  
[Ian looks down at Zaruba, concerned]  
Ian: What is it?  
[Zaruba looks up towards Ian, an amused smirk on his face]  
Zaruba: Either I'm getting on in my age, or I sense something strange. Want to guess which one it is? But in all honesty, I sense something. It's defininetely not a Horror, but it doesn't seem to be a Knight. At least, not one with the Order.  
[Ian rolls his eyes, before sighing]  
Ian: Alright, where is he then?  
[We zoom out to a rooftop. On it, a being in black armor watches Ian. They chuckle distortedly, their smile hidden behind their armor]  
  
????: So, this is the new Golden Knight. This will be fun.


	10. In A Moment's Time (AKA What is doing when not involved in weird shenanigans)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now we see what Ian does when not involved with alternate versions of himself:  
He's a pianist and singer. Normally Chixie sings with him, but in this case, she's sick. FUN!  
Also, Ian sings like Ashe. So just play his cover of "In A Moment's Time" for maximum effect.

[We open outside a small club with a sign above the door saying “The Skull Heart Club”. The door to the inside opens, and the camera goes through it. We open on the ground floor, revealing many trolls sitting at tables or in booths. On the back wall is a stage, where Ian and his band sit. Ian is in front of a piano, a microphone next to him. He smiles for a moment as the lights dim.]  
Ian: Before we begin tonight, I’d like to thank everyone for coming here tonight. It means a lot to me. I would also like to thank my girlfriend Polypa for encouraging me to do this job. I’d hate to imagine what my life would be like without it. Thanks, Babe!  
[The crowd claps at this, some even smiling. Polypa, who is sitting at one of the tables closest to the stage, blushes at her mention.]  
Ian: And I believe that’s all for now. Once again, thank you, everyone! And without further ado…  
[Ian nods to the band members, who begin to play their instruments. Ian begins to play the piano, before starting to sing.]  
Why so down tonight?  
Just another day that didn't go your way  
Well don't you make a sight  
Just take my hand, don't toss and turn  
Let's just lie awake  
In just a moment's time, you'll wonder why  
You ever thought you'd ever long for more than you've got  
'Cause, baby, you've got you and me  
I'm gonna hold you tight, through the night  
The bed bugs better hope that I don't bite  
While you're counting sheep in your head  
It's time to hit the sack--kapow! attack!  
Smack those troubles down, KO, they're down  
One, two, three A.M  
Or is it midnight still? The window sill's  
A billion miles away  
But your lucky star, he's here for sure  
Down here 'neath the sheets  
The world is yours to conquer, won't be long, dear  
I'm the king and you're the pawn, we're a perfect pair  
Girl, you made the right mistake  
Choose me instead of constant heartbreak  
Now let's raise the stakes  
Go on, you earned it  
Ask for any wish, I'm on it  
Grant it word for word, I promise  
Baby, that's the charm!  
You got it made, yeah  
Don't you be a flake  
In just a moment's time, you'll wonder why  
You ever thought you'd ever long for more than you've got  
'Cause, baby you've got you and me  
Buckle up tonight  
You wanna get away, forget it, baby  
Got you in my sights!  
Ain't in the cards! They don't ever learn!  
Hell, for heaven's sake!  
In just a moment's time, you'll wonder why  
You ever thought you'd ever long for more than you've got  
'Cause, baby, you've got you and me!  
[The final notes cease to play, as everyone in the crowd gives a standing ovation. Ian smiles to himself, beginning to cry tears of joy.]  
Ian: Thanks, everyone. You all make this gig worth it.


	11. Battle of the Protags (Parts 0 and 1: Ian vs MSPA/Ian vs SAEJIMA)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long story short:  
MSPA Reader decides to try and posses Ian, who fights on the inside, while Karkat, Aradia, Nepeta, Equius, and a few others fight the amalgam being formed from the two beings

[OST: Garo Vanishing Line: “SWORD”]   
Ian and MSPA Reader simultaneously: DIE!   
[Outside Ian’s Mindscape]   
[Ian-MSPA Reader activate their God Tier powers, gaining Monochrome Lord of Hope-Void robes]   
Ian-MSPA Reader: GRA HHHH!   
Karkat: WELL LOOK AT THAT. YOU GOD TIER IN THE DREAM, YOU GOD TIER FOR REAL.   
[Back in the Mindscape]   
MSPA Reader, now in a custom Lord of Void outfit: Now that we’re dressed in our Sunday Best, let’s get down to it! AHAHAHAHAHA!   
[MSPA Reader flash steps over to Ian, armed with a black version of Caledfwlch. Ian manages to block it with his own sword]   
Ian: Bastard! If ya want to “get along” so badly, why are we fighting?!   
MSPA Reader: Tonight, you’ll be visited by 3 spirits, Ian. CALEDFWLCH AVALON!   
[INCEPTION BWOOOOM!]   
Ian: Where am I?! Why am I on Alternia? What did he mean “3 Spirits”?   
????: You ask as many questions as ever.   
Ian: What?!   
[“MTW” from Garo Vanishing Line begins to play]   
SAEJIMA: Launch! Myriad Arrows!  
[SAEJIMA fires thousands of arrows at Ian, who somehow manages to dodge all of them]  
Ian: SAEJIMA? Why are you here? Why is Garo music playing again?  
SPIRIT!SAEJIMA: I am the Spirit of The Past. Fear of what has been and how it will effect the future.  
Ian: We already settled your grudge. I changed what made you exist and you ceased to exist!  
S!SAEJIMA: [points at a white scarf around his neck} You see this scarf I’m wearing?  
Ian: Yeah…?  
S!SAEJIMA: I DID NOT HAVE THIS SCARF BEFORE.  
Ian: Does that matter?  
S!SAEJIMA: FINISHER!  
Ian: What’s your problem!?  
S!SAEJIMA: Your face!  
S!SAEJIMA: BOW OF ARTEMIS!  
[S!SAEJIMA forms numerous arrows made of pure light and fires them at Ian one after another]  
Ian: I’m going to have serious words with your version of Polypa, SAEJIMA! AAAAAAAAA!  
SAEJIMA: [Deadpan] That’s probably not going to happen.  
[The Arrows of Artemis cause cracks to appear in the ground, splitting the cliff Ian and S!Saejima are fighting on. Ian lands near where an arrow hit]  
Ian: Oh, son of a…  
S!SAEJIMA: Why don’t you just take a second to rest? Lay back, regain your energy… AND DIE!  
[S!SAEJIMA launches a beam of energy at Ian, and sends him down the cliffside but manages to get a handhold]  
Ian, internally: This is unbelievable… How did I manage to beat SAEJIMA before?  
[Ian flashes back to when he managed to access MSPA Reader’s Void powers]  
Ian: Oh right, fuck.  
S!SAEJIMA: Heads up.  
Ian: Huh?  
[Ian is hit with a beam of light]  
Ian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!  
S!SAEJIMA: You alright? Need a second? Good.  
[Ian is hit with another beam of light]  
Ian: AAAAAAAAA STOP IT!  
S!SAEJIMA: Stop stopping? Understood.  
[BEAM OF LIGHT 3: This time it’s personal]  
Ian: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SAEJIMA WHY  
[Ian manages to pull himself up]  
Ian: SAEJIMA… Why don’t we sit down… and talk…?  
S!SAEJIMA: Next time you see Dirk, Ian Saejima, will you just sit down and talk with him? With the man who stabbed Polypa? Who threatened your canon?  
Ian: Ok… but he’s a different case than you.  
S!SAEJIMA: Please. Explain.  
Ian: Well for one, you’re not like a child given a pen and told to write whatever the hell he wants.  
S!SAEJIMA: Good point. I am definitely not… that.  
[BEAM OF LIGHT (2019): THE REBOOT NO ONE ASKED FOR]  
Ian: GODDAMNIT SAEJIMA WHY  
S!SAEJIMA: The time to be indecisive has passed, IAN SAEJIMA! If you wish to befriend someone…  
[S!SAEJIMA’s Bow turns into a double-ended spear, which he charges with light]  
S!SAEJIMA: THEN BEFRIEND MY BLADES!  
[S!SAEJIMA jumps up and attempts to skewer Ian. A flash of light covers the screen before the blades pierce Ian’s skin]


	12. Battle of the Protags (Part 2: Ian vs Lanque)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only Ian skips over Lanque because Ian doesn't like the way he treats Lynera.

[Ian comes back to his fight with MSPA Reader, who throws Ian back with his Caledfwlch]   
MSPA Reader: Aha! You’re finally awake!   
Ian: What did you do to me?!   
MSPA Reader: How did you beat him? Jog my memory for me. I can’t remember!   
[Ian flashes back to his fight with SAEJIMA. He was losing, only for MSPA Reader to take control briefly and beat the crap out of SAEJIMA.]   
Ian: In that fight, I could only win thanks to the injuries you dealt SAEJIMA while controlling my body.   
MSPA Reader, angry: AND NOT ONCE DID I GET A “THANK YOU”! You’ll drive poor Caledfwlch to tears!   
Ian: How dare you say his name! CALEDFWLCH AVALON!   
MSPA Reader: [MSPA Reader gets an unamused expression on his face] What do you think will happen? HYAH!   
[MSPA Reader slices through Caledfwlch’s energy blade easily]   
MSPA Reader: Just now Ian, were you using the technique that you were granted by Caledfwlch? The one you barely knew how to use until I used it against SAEJIMA? The technique that is otherwise known as… EXCALIBUR! ISLAND!   
[Outside Ian’s mindscape]   
[Aradia launches numerous attacks against Ian-MSPA Reader, who attempts to counter with Gray Caledfwlch]   
Equius: D--> Tavros! Open the barrier!   
[Ian-MSPA Reader attempts to slice at Aradia, only to be punched in the stomach by Equius]   
Equius: D--> Allow me, Aradia! I’ll deal with him!   
[Ian-MSPA Reader readies to fire a sphere of combined Hope and Void as Equius raises his fists]   
Equius: D--> Now then, I’ll end you!   
[Equius manages to launch a sphere of Void, only for Ian-MSPA Reader to block it with his own Void and fire a sphere of Hope in response]   
[In the Mindscape]   
[Ian clutches his chest, as MSPA Reader pierced it with his attack]   
MSPA Reader: You ever even considered how many times I’ve saved your life? Allow me to list them!   
MSPA Reader: I’m the one who scared off Dirk, You defeated Trizza with a burst of my Void energy, and I saved your life from the wounds inflicted by both her and Zebruh. Zebruh, Ian! Frankly, your track record consists of no-names and people you catch off guard.   
Ian: At least I have… uh… friendship…   
MSPA Reader: You’re right. Friendship really is the ultimate weapon. However.   
[MSPA Reader flash steps over the Ian, grabbing ahold of Caledfwlch’s blade, causing it to dissipate into nothing]   
MSPA Reader: I guess that means you won’t be needing this one. It’s time for another Spirit to visit.   
Ian: Another Spirit? Who?   
[INCEPTION BWOOOOM!]   
Spirit!Lanque: Welcome to your inner world, Ian.   
Ian: How do you know my name…?   
S!Lanque: I am the Spirit of Presents never seen.    
Ian: Great. Really thou-   
S!Lanque: The fear of the unknown.   
Ian: Who are you though?!   
S!Lanque: Pardon?   
Ian: You. Who are you?   
S!Lanque: I am an apparition of Lanque.   
[Awkward silence]   
S!Lanque: Essentially Daraya’s brother…?   
Ian: Mmmmmmmmm…   
S!Lanque: Did you skip me…?   
Ian: That’s ridiculous.   
S!Lanque: YOU SKIPPED ME?!   
Ian: Lies and Slander.   
S!Lanque: DO YOU REMEMBER THIS PLACE?!   
Ian: Nani?   
S!Lanque: You skipped me!   
Ian: Maybe a little…   
S!Lanque: [Grabs Ian by the collar] HOW MUCH IS A LITTLE?!   
Ian: Maybe all of you and your friends. And we don’t mention you or acknowledge your existence.   
S!Lanque: Could you perhaps?! M-Maybe in the future?   
Ian: Is this really what I’m here for, Lanque? I’m in the middle of a thing!   
S!Lanque: THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR ME, YOU PINK IDIOT! If you don’t do the Rainbow Drinker Arc, I cease to exist when this conversation ends!   
Ian: [Groans] Yeah, will think about it.   
S!Lanque: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!   
Ian: It means, cut me a break! I’m going back and fighting MSPA Reader!   
S!Lanque: Oh, because HE’S REAL!   
Ian: I DIDN’T SAY THAT!   
S!Lanque: You thought it.   
[Outside the Mindscape]   
[Ian-MSPA Reader launches numerous spheres of energy at Equius, who shields himself with his arms]   
Equius: D--> In all my sweeps, I’ve never seen anything so REVOLTING!   
Karkat: YOU’VE NEVER TASTED YOUR COOKING THEN, EQUIUS.   
Nepeta: :33 BURN!   
[Ian-MSPA Reader growls as he summons a bunch of blades and aims them at Equius]   
Equius: D--> Karkat!   
Karkat: SUP, E-FRIEND?   
Equius: D--> Why don’t we all fight together instead of one at a time like this?   
Karkat: GREAT QUESTION. WATCH OUT FOR HIS EVERYTHING.


	13. Characters as WTNV quotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What else do you need to know?  
Also, Isabelle will be properly introduced soon...-ish

Ian: Then, I was back here. Skin covering gone from my eyes, Hair returned to my scalp. The only thing different is that now I’m wearing a black, plastic poncho, cat ears, and fuchsia galoshes. This was definitely not what I wore to work, as I do not own fuchsia galoshes. They’re pink. Oh, I don’t know. These are kind of fuchsia-ish… The lighting in my studio is weird. Maybe these boots are mine… Yeah, I’m wearing exactly what I was wearing before I think. Anyway, I met some AMAZING people today!

Ian (Alternate quote): We understand so much, but the sky behind those lights-- mostly void, partially stars-- that sky reminds us we don't understand even more.

SAEJIMA: I like my coffee like I like my nights: dark, endless, and impossible to sleep through.

Caliburn: After fierce debate today, the City Council has officially declared murder illegal.

Ax: We are currently fielding numerous reports that books have stopped working.

Polypa: They come in twos. You come in twos. You, and you. KILL YOUR DOUBLE. There's also a link to this amazing cat that keeps jumping in and out of boxes and oh my god that is the CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. Dana, you have got to post that on my wall. Oh my god, he loves those boxes so much!

Alter: Kill it with kindness, and if that doesn't work, kill it with sharp sticks and knives.

Isabelle: Believe in yourself. You are an ancient, absent god, discussed only rarely by literary scholars. So if you don't believe, no one will.


	14. Fin: Heaven (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the last events in continuity. Ult!Dirk is gone and Ian is floating in the white Void of Author Fanon. But, now to Rebuild.

[Insert OST: “End of Friendvangelion” by James Roach]  
Your name is IAN SAEJIMA. You are 8.5 Sweeps/17 Years old. And you’ve just managed to change canon to its semi-proper state… at the cost of removing yourself from it. Now you’re just floating in a white void. What will you do?  
===> Ian: Smile. It’s over.  
You smile for once. You guess it really is over, isn’t it? You never thought all that time ago that it would end like this. You mean, you made a bunch of friends, made some more friends while changing things, and fought against an angsty man-child who was trying to fuck about with canon. Mission Accomplished, right? You hope everyone does well.  
===> Ian: Wonder about her.  
You let your mind drift to your Matespirt/Moirail/Whatever you decided to call her, Polypa.   
Ian: Knowing her, she’s either running her new shipping blog or trying to bring me back. Maybe both at once. Hehe…  
===> Ian: Hear a voice.  
Your imagination session is interrupted by a voice. You jump slightly. There’s no one else in this weird white void of Fanonicity, so who…? A small red light floats in front of you. The voice emanating from it is either that of a young boy or a teenaged girl.  
???: Apologies for startling you. You may call me “Seraph”.   
Ian: Who are you?  
Seraph: I guess you could call me the will of Paradox Space itself. I couldn’t help but notice your little “Canon Fixing” escapades, and I figured I’d thank you for it. You do seem awfully lonely though. So I figured I’d come and make you an offer.  
===> Ian: Ask about the offer.  
Ian: What kind of offer?  
Seraph: Well, as thanks for fixing Paradox Space, you’ll get to live again! And with your friends too!  
Ian: So, is there any catch?  
Seraph seems to think for a few moments, before pulsating something in Morse Code you think. Probably “No”.  
Seraph: Nope! You’ve been through a lot already. I don’t think you deserve any more annoyances involving Canon.  
===> Ian: …Accept.  
You think for a few minutes, before coming to your decision.  
Ian: I don’t have any reason to say no to it. So… Sure. I guess I’m going to Earth C?  
Seraph blinks a few more times in Morse Code. You think she’s saying “Yes” this time.  
Seraph: Yup! Your friends will be there too! Not immediately, but soon.  
You smile as Seraph glows brighter and brighter, becoming paler and paler in coloration. You close your eyes as the light envelops you.   
===> Ian: Wake up.  
[Insert OST: "Friendvangelion: Rebuild" by James Roach]


	15. Fin: Heaven (part 2: Reunion)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian wakes up on Earth C and meets some old friends.

===> Ian: Wake Up.  
You open your eyes slightly, sunlight flooding into them. You go to shield them. You think you’re on a hill of some kind, going by the angle you’re at. Looking forward, you see a small town. Salamanders wander around, farming glowing mushrooms and other crops. You see some trolls and humans among them, helping when possible.  
===> Ian: Walk into town.  
You decide to go into town and ask around for info. As you approach the entrance, you see some salamanders holding plastic toy spears. One of them points theirs at you, threatening to skewer you on the semi-hard plastic.  
Salamander Guard: “Halt! *Glub* Who goes there?!”  
You curse slightly under your breath. You should’ve seen this coming. Just as you’re about to speak and explain who you are, a voice comes from the other side. It’s been a while since you heard that voice. About… A month, you want to say? Time was weird in the void.  
???: Let him through. I know him.  
The salamander stares at you for a moment, before opening the gate and letting you through. There, standing in his usual Heir of Breath outfit, was John.  
John: I was wondering if you were going to show up, Ian. I just wasn’t expecting you so soon.  
You quirk an eyebrow in questioning. John laughs a bit.  
John: Oh right! I guess time was wonky in that void you were in, wasn’t it? It’s only been 3 months here since we won the game. Everyone was kinda confused when we met some trolls who said they knew you. We told them about what you did and where you were. They seemed… upset, to put it lightly. Especially a girl in olive. Jesus… What was her name…? Polly, Pol, Polys…?  
Ian: Polypa?  
John: Yeah! She was *pissed*! Nearly smacked Dave when he told her. Speaking of which, she’s at my place right now, actually. Want to go see her?  
Your eyes light up and you grin. John smiles as well.  
John: I’ll take your reaction as a yes. Come on then.  
===> Ian: Follow John  
You follow John to his house. It doesn’t look any different than when the game began. You decide not to ask about it. John opens the door for you. You nod in thanks.  
Ian: Do you know where Polypa is?  
John turns and points to where his room was.  
Ian: Thanks. I’ll be back.  
===> Ian: Reunite  
You knock on the door to John’s former room. You hear footsteps walk over to the door before it opens slightly.  
Polypa: I swear to gog*, what is it now Eg-  
She’s cut off mid-sentence by a kiss on the lips, courtesy of you. Her eyes widen for a moment before she realizes who you are. You separate for a moment, smirking at her flustered expression.  
Ian: Sorry for the wait. I’ll make it up to you any way I can.  
She looks away, embarrassment written all over her olive-tinted face.  
Polypa: … Jerk*|. You disappear for 3 months *and then you come back not long before my wriggling day*|. When it comes*, we are going to make up for your disappearance *all day *|. Got it?  
You chuckle, amused by her reaction.  
Ian: Yup. I would ask why we couldn’t do that right now, but~...  
Polypa blushes again.  
Polypa: You have no idea how tempted I am *to smack you *and then make out with you*|. Just… UGH*|!  
Ian: We both know I don't do black or ashen.  
Polypa: Unfortunately*|.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be real with y'all:  
No, I'm not going to write Ian "making it up" to Polypa. If ya want to, be my guest. I'm not though. Also, Ian and Polypa are the same age here (8.5 Sweeps/17 Years).


	16. Ian on caves (Bears live in Caves. And Bears are crazy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update on Continuity: There is none unless I mention it. Okay? Okay. LET'S GO! Also, Lynera is there.

[Secret Base underneath Ian's hive]   
[Ian types on his husktop, annoyed by the antics of Mallek and Cirava]   
Ian: I may kill those guys when I go upstairs.   
Lynera: Please God let this past day have been a terrible nightmare.   
Ian: Oh good. You're awake. Your clothes are in the wash right now.   
Lynera: GOD. DAMNIT.   
Ian: Alright. I'll grab your outfit once it finishes washing. Then, we'll get the hell out of this cave. Bears live in caves, and Bears are crazy.   
Polypa: WHAT THE HELL?!   
Ian: Oh god no.   
Ian: Now Polypa, calm down.   
Lynera: Listen, don't get the wrong idea.   
Polypa: *HISSSSSS*   
Lynera:DID THAT BITCH JUST HISS AT ME?!   
Polypa: Whatcha gonna do about it?   
Ian: I swear... Sometimes I regret my attractiveness.


	17. Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know where this is going.  
https://soundcloud.com/seventhsentinel/imatsoupwav

Ian: Feferi! Watch me do a somersault!   
[On a table in the center of the room is picture of Feferi bound and gagged.]   
Ian: [Unknowable noise of negativity]   
[Ian's phone rings suddenly. In a rush, Ian picks up.]   
Azdaja: Hello Ian. Bet you're wondering why you're hearing from me again-   
Ian: NOT NOW AZDAJA! FEFERI'S GONE MISSING!   
Azdaja: Someone's gone missing haven't th-. THE FUCK? HE HUNG UP ON ME!   
[Ian dials another number into his phone before putting it up to his ear. Polypa picks up, currently on an assassination job.]  
Ian: Hello?  
Polypa: Hey. What's up?  
Ian: I need your help. Can you come here?  
Polypa: Uh... I can't... I'm... buying clothes! Definetley buying clothes.  
Ian: Alright??? Well, can you hurry up once you're done?  
Polypa, muttering to herself: I can't find them...  
Ian: What do you mean "You can't find them"?  
Polypa: Shit! I can't find them. There's only... soup!  
Ian: What do you mean "There's only soup"?!  
Polypa: It means there's only soup!  
Ian: Well then get out of the soup aisle!  
Polypa: Alright. You don't have to shout at me, jegus.  
[Polypa sneaks into an air duct and lands into another room... filled with soup.]  
Polypa, dumbstruck: There's more soup.  
Ian: What do mean "There's more soup"?!  
Polypa: There's just more soup!  
Ian: Go into the next aisle.  
[Polypa jumps back into the air duct she came through and goes into another room. It's also filled with cans of soup.]  
Polypa: There's still soup.  
Ian: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!  
Polypa: I'm at soup!  
Ian: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?! Or are you on *yet another* assassination mission you had to think of an excuse for? Because if so, we are *so* having a talk later.


	18. And now for something completely different (Or the Author has been watching Gurren Lagann too much and wants to make a fic out of this one chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when I start to watch Gurren Lagann and become invested. Anyways, here's a "who's who":  
Ian/Anti-Spiral Ian = Simon/Anti-Spiral Hivemind  
Saejima = Kamina  
Nia = Polypa  
Yoko = (An older!)Joey  
Leeron = Cirava  
Viral = Tegiri

[Team Cho-Gurren breaks through the barrier between the Multi-Dimensional Labyrinth and Reality riding on drills, with Ian piloting Gurren Lagann.]  
Anti-Spiral Ian: Impossible! Sentient life-forms can't possibly escape from the Multi-Dimensional Labyrinth.  
Ian: Don't underestimate us. We don't care about time, or space or... multi-dimensional whatevers! We don't give a damn about that. Force your way down a path YOU choose to take and do it all yourself! That's the way Team Cho-Gurren rolls!  
[Cue awesome Mecha Combination sequence set to “Sorairo Days” consisting of Gurren Lagann becoming Arc-Gurren, Then Chou-Ginga Gurren Lagann, before culminating in Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann breaking through an entire galaxy.]  
Polypa: Even when trapped by karma's cycle...  
Joey: The dreams we left behind will open the door!  
Cirava: Even if the universe stands against us...  
Tegiri: Our burning blood will cut through fate!  
Ian: We'll break through the heavens and all dimensions!  
All: And defy all who would stop us to grab hold of our path!  
Ian: Behold! THE MECH THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!  
**TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN!**  
[A rainbow-colored explosion of Spiral Energy erupts behind the “mech.”]  
All: JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!


	19. Ian's (Totally not deadly) Math Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a headcanon of mine that when Ian is pissed enough, he becomes Fugo.

[Ian and Trizza sit at a table, bickering like siblings do.]   
Ian: Look Trizza, I know you've been sheltered your whole life, and now aren't even a princess anymore, but really? You've *never* learned anything non-combat related? I refuse to believe that!   
Trizza: Yeah, well, it's true! I can't even do *math*!   
[The sound of glass shattering resounds as Ian's face goes blank. Suddenly, he stands up, before going over to a desk and grabbing a bunch of notebooks and pens. He goes back to the table he and Trizza were sitting at, before slamming everything down.]   
Ian: One way or the other, we are going to do this. Now sit down and shut up so I can teach.   
[6 hours later]   
Trizza: Alright! I think I got it!   
Ian: Really? Let's see!   
[Trizza hands Ian a notebook with a bunch of math problems on it. Circled is a problem labeled "16 x 55 = ?". Below the question mark is the number "28".]   
Ian: What the hell is *this*?   
Trizza: Hehe! Did I get it right?   
[The sound of glass breaking is heard again, this time accompanied by what sound like sirens. Ian reaches over and grabs a fork, before stabbing it into Trizza's face.]   
Trizza: GAAAAAH!   
Ian: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER MORON! ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?! YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS!   
[Ian begins to slam Trizza's head into the table repeatedly]   
Ian: I JUST TOLD YOU SIX TIMES FIVE WAS THIRTY, SO WHY IN THE HELL IS YOUR ANSWER *EVEN LESS*?!   
[Polypa and Tegiri transpotalize in, only to see the above. Polypa just sighs in annoyance.]   
Polypa: Welp. Ian's lost it again. Let's go before this gets ugly.


	20. More Astral Chain stuff?! And Worm too?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this primarily because I could. Also, the whole "Willing" and "Forced" Legion Fusions are a thing here. Willing Legions are what is featured here. Forced ones are the kind seen in Astral Chain proper. Elemental Legions are a thing too! For context, Honoo is an OC while Lightningbug is Taylor from Worm.  
Legion Color Schemes and Elements:  
Flare: Red body and highlights, silver armor. Flame Element  
Hornet: Yellow Body and highlights, black armor. Lightning Element

“Okay. I have to admit:  _ that  _ was impressive.” Honoo grunted. When he and Lightningbug decided to fight the ABB leader, they didn’t expect a Gate to open and a samurai-esque Chimera (IRIS revealed it to be named “Diomedes”) to drop out. An all too familiar voice rang out in his head. It sounded like his own if he was a little bit older. That of his Sword Legion, Flare.   
_ ‘I think we’ll have to do  _ ** _that _ ** _ if we want to stand any kind of chance against this Chimera _ **.** _ ’ _ Honoo clicked his tongue in annoyance, before sighing.   
“IRIS Active. Send Lightningbug a message. We have to do “that”.” He emphasized the last word, as they both knew what to do. He only hoped that it would go well. Flare turned to him, and they both nodded. After all, a willing Fusion would be much more powerful than a Forced one. Flare retracted into its Core and fused with Honoo. Embers began to form around Honoo as he stared to the heavens and yelled, a tower of flames forming around him.

* * *

“Shit... What do we do?!” Lightningbug muttered to herself. When they had beaten Lung, a Gate to the Astral Plane had opened above him and out of it fell a large samurai looking Chimera. Her Arrow Legion, Hornet, was currently peppering the Chimera with arrows from the building it had pulled them to. Her IRIS had gone off, her eyes flashing yellow briefly to indicate a new message. Honoo’s voice began to play.   
_ “Sorry, but it seems we have to test “that” earlier than expected. Flare says it’s the only way we’re going to stand a chance.” _ _   
_ Lightningbug sighed to herself. She turned to Hornet, who simply nodded. Hesitantly, Lightningbug smiled. “...Yeah. Let’s go!” Hornet returned to its Core and shot along the chain connecting the two. Lightningbug could feel the sparks forming around her. Around  _ them _ . With a yell, lightning rained upon her.

* * *

Diomedes could tell something was wrong. Not only did the rain of arrows stop, but so did its target. Not a single attack had launched towards it, and it was  _ infuriated _ . Had they run? No, that would be a coward’s way out. Just as it was about to consider looking for its enemies, an arrow made of lightning launched into its eye. The Chimera roared in pain but held its weapon steady. Its enemies had decided to attack again, and it needed to focus. It could tell they were here, but where?  _ Something _ was messing with its senses. It was almost like those Chimeras that were bound to them, but not. So what was it? A blocked flaming slash answered its questions. There, standing in front of Diomedes, was something not entirely human or Legion. Something in-between. It has the signature muffler of Honoo, but the armor of a Legion. It began to speak with 2 voices acting like one.   
** _“We are Union! Union Flame!”_ **

* * *

**** Union F had to admit, they were kinda freaking out. When they fused, they weren’t expecting  _ this _ . But if they could only defeat Diomedes like this, then so be it. They launched themselves towards the Chimera, arm blades set ablaze. Diomedes went to block but was easily parried. Union slashed at it in a flurry of fire and sword strikes. The Chimera was visibly wounded, but only a strike to the Core would defeat it for good. He focused. Lightninhb- Horne-  _ Union L _ was on the same rooftop as before, aiming a shot. If they had an actual mouth instead of a faceplate, they would be smiling so hard right now. Diomedes readied its blade, poised to strike. Union F returned with a similar pose. All F had to do was stall Diomedes for a few more seconds. Diomedes moved its feet ever so slightly, then charged. F blocked its strike, before kneeing it in whatever constituted an abdomen for a Chimera, launching Diomedes into the air. There was a sound like thunder... and the Arrow found its mark. The Chimera’s Core crumbled to nothing. Honoo and Lightningbug both defused, their Legions helping them stand. Lightningbug rocketed towards Honoo thanks to her Legion. Honoo gave a weary smile and a laugh.   
“Well… That could’ve gone worse.”


	21. A Lost Memory (F)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I listened to the Code Vein OST and this was the result.

_ I guess it was going to happen eventually, right, Taylor...? _ _   
_   
[Insert OST: Memory of the Lost (Code Vein)]  
  
_ An evacuation notice has been issued for Zone 30 due to large scale contamination. I repeat… _ _   
_   
Crumbling ground forms a path ahead, accompanied by many lamp posts.   
_   
A Gate…! Ugh! What the hell is this…?! I’m being pulled in! _ _   
_   
Slowly, the ground changes to a dull black and red, resembling the Astral Plane.   
_   
Where am I? Ugh… GAHHHH! _ _   
_   
The ground gives way to a hallway from an ordinary house. A child’s voice speaks   
_   
Mom, Dad? What’s going on? I heard screaming, but- AH! _ _   
_   
The ground returns to resembling the Astral Planes, but with the black replaced with silver.   
_   
So... this is what they felt… Hehe… Sorry… everyone… I wasn’t able to… make… it… _ _   
_   
The path changes again to resemble a house. Sounds of cheers fill the void, with a bunch of voices speaking.   
_   
Sup. _   
_ Huh? Why am I talking to you? Why wouldn’t I? _ _   
_ _ My name? Ian. Ian Saejima. You? _ _   
_ _ Taylor, huh? Nice to meet you then. I know this is cheesy as all hell, but I hope we get along. _ _   
_   
The path ends at a small white tree. Its leaves are a fine red, and a voice echoes from a single fruit on its branches.   
_  
Sorry I couldn’t save you… I could barely save myself, after all..._


	22. Post-Mortem (I tried to write angst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the worst possible timeline...

[We open to a shotgun sound, followed by a pan upward to see Ian standing over a corpse. We then cut to Ian’s home.]   
Collin: Dad? Where are you going?   
Ian: Uh… I just gotta go take care of some things. Yeah! I, uh. I got a call from work, so… You be the man of the house while I’m gone, okay? You can do that for me, right?   
Collin: I guess so. Do you really have to go? You said we could put together the cat puzzle tonight. It was Mom’s favorite.   
Ian: Uh… I’m sorry, Collin. I just got a call from work and… I just gotta take care of this real quick, and then we’ll definitely put it together tomorrow, okay? I promise.   
Collin: Okay…   
[Ian walks out of Collin’s room, but opens the door slightly.]   
Ian: Good Night, Collin.   
Collin: Good Night, Dad.   
[Ian walks out to his car and begins to drive to a cemetery. He opens the door and stands in front of a grave. The name says “Polypa Goezee. 200X-202X.” He pulls out his phone and dials a certain number. It rings for a few moments, before being picked up.]   
Boss: Yeah?   
Ian: I want out. I want out, I want to be done with this, I… I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE!   
Boss: You want out? There is no out. All there that there is finishing the job. That’s it. Now quit bitching and get over there before you start to regret this call.   
Ian: Then this is the last one, okay? Just... just say this is the last one. JUST SAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE AND THE I’LL BE DONE, OKAY?!   
Ian: ...Please.   
Boss: We’ll see.   
[Ian’s phone lets out a dial tone as he exhales. Tear’s fall done his face as he looks over at Polypa’s grave.]   
Ian: I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I wish this wasn’t happening.   
[Ian walks over to his car and starts it, all while sobbing and whimpering.]


	23. Reapers vs PostHS!/PreEpilogues!Kids and Trolls (Intro: A brief prelude)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had the TWEWY ost playing while writing this. Also, the Nepeta and Equius seen here are from an alternate timeline.

“Alright, Reapers! We all know why we’re here tonight. So all I’ll say is just to remember the basics: No Killing Civies, if anyone gets in trouble, help them, and finally, no Noise unless provoked. And even then, try and exhaust all other opti-” A large bang broke Ian (Maestro. Codenames exist for a reason.) out of his speech. He sharply inhaled. “Ya know what? Fuck it, I don’t need to remind everyone. Go have fun.” Cheers filled the air as Reaper after Reaper ran outwards into the countryside and beyond. Maestro turned to his small entourage that remained. He took note of who was there:  
Polypa (Codename: J-Rock), who had her Noise tattoos ready in case of a fight breaking out. (Sweet Jegus she was attractive… FOCUS DAMMIT!)  
Nepeta (Codename: Pop), Resident Taboo Noise generator and catgirl. (Her *paint-mask* had cat features on it!)  
The Hopper Twins (Codenames: Anison and Chiptune), who served as enforcers for the higher-ups (Not that they were really necessary half the time. But there should always be a contingency.)  
Equius (Codename: Rock), powerhouse and resident (improving) chef. The popping of his fingers was all Maestro needed to hear to know he would be with them.  
Karako (Codename: Prog), the youngest of them all, but also the most deadly depending on his mood. Either way, his Fox Noise would protect him.  
And then there was Ian himself. Codename: Maestro. The current leader of the Reapers and only known user of Snake/Dragon noise.  
“Now that the prep is done… OI! Mallek! Cirava! You two done setting up the music?”  
The Cerulean and Gold bloods both nodded, with Cirava smoking… whatever they smoked.  
“yeah the jams are set up lmao”  
Maestro nodded in response, before smiling, turning to his subordinates. "In that case... Let's cause some chaos!" With a flourish of the longcoat he wore, Ian and the Reaper Admins leaped down onto the ground, intent on causing as much (semi-benign) chaos as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/9j0WoocZsk4 (Twister -Final Remix version-)


	24. SAEJIMA goes shopping, arrives late, and Zebruh meets a new Servant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GBH is Ian (& SAEJIMA)'s honorary uncle. IDK man, figured I'd say *something*.

[SAEJIMA stands in a store, holding a pack of Panasonic batteries. He holds a phone up to his ear, on the phone with some sort of customer support]   
SAEJIMA: I’m looking at a pack of your Panasonic batteries and I can’t help but notice they only come in packs of 12. I only need 2. Do you sell packs of 2? No? Let me talk to your boss, please.

[Lynera looks over where Boldir died]   
Lynera: For your information, we don’t know who killed her. She was dead when we got there.   
[SAEJIMA’s face turns into a look of holding back laughter]   
SAEJIMA, on the verge of laughter: So wait! You’re telling me Polypa was elsewhere fighting Ardata and something killed Boldir? Oh my god! She got taken down by a *normie*! That’s a step-down.   
Polypa: I don’t appreciate how dismissive you’re being. She was murdered in cold blood.   
SAEJIMA: What? Were you two dating? I thought Ian was already on that front. What’s surprising is that she got offed like the Graf Zepplin got offed by the equivalent of a guy with a bow and kitchen knife tipped arrows.   
[Lynera looks confused]   
Lynera: What an… oddly specific analogy.   
Polypa: I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I still demand you take it back.   
[Lynera glares at SAEJIMA]   
Lynera: All things considered, SAEJIMA, you should’ve been there to help!   
SAEJIMA: You told me, and I quote, “Keep yourself away from school no matter what!”.   
Lynera: Yeah. Until a *BARRIER OF DEATH* forms around it! You’ve got weird eyes! You should’ve been able to see the Barrier from miles away.   
[SAEJIMA groans]   
SAEJIMA: First of all: My “weird eyes”, as you call them, can only see about 4 kilometers away. That’s about 2.5 miles, not the WHOLE CITY! 2nd of all: I was out in the city buying *you* batteries from a company I’m no longer allowed to speak of. That put me inside a building, and I can’t see through walls about a city away. 3rd of all: *Travel Distance*. I’m fast, but everything happened in about 5 or 6 minutes. How the *hell* did you expect me to arrive that fast? Did you want to start carpet-bombing the building? I thought we talked about how that *wasn’t* an option.

[Zebruh stands in front of GHB’s church, panting for breath]   
Zebruh: Alright… hardest I’ve run in.. my whole life…   
[Zebruh barges into the Chapel]   
Zebruh: Hey Highblood! You owe me some answers!   
[GHB stares at Zebruh, gears turning in his head]   
???: KURLOZ?! Kurloz, no! I CAN HEAR YOU THINKING FROM DOWN HERE IN THE BASEMENT!   
Zebruh: U-Uh... Who is th-   
[GHB grips Zebruh’s shoulder tightly]   
GBH: Don’t worry. You’re getting a new Servant. Rejoice!   
???: “REJOICE” MY *ASS*, KURLOZ! DON’T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!   
GHB: If you wish for a new Servant, then you're getting one.   
[Dirk walks up the stairs to the basement before sighing]  
Dirk: Alright, let's see this mutt. What're we working with?


End file.
